anger

sometimes in life .. we just have to break the rules .. even if it's something bad .. as people said before .. life is unfair .. yes i totally agree with that .. sometimes it's just not fair .. we do good things .. but life just fucks us up .. i found out something that really breaks my heart ..

i dont wanna talk much about this ..

kill me .. someone just kill me pls

truE loVe

recently i've been listening to many meaningful songs .. it gave me a clear view of the meaning of true love .. sometimes i wonder .. how all this singers can express themself so easily with words .. and make words into a beautiful song .. it amaze me to the max .. lyrics to songs sometimes can touch a person's soul so deep that makes them change they way the look at life .. it's not easy to find a nice song that touches ur heart like no other song can do ..

i've been listening to James Morrison feat Nelly Furtado - Broken Strings .. and it gave me a deeper meaning to love .. how people struggle in life .. love isn't something easy to take care of .. it requires deep attention and caringness .. some people that i know .. take love for granted .. i feel that they damn stupid .. fucked up how people can just let go so easily .. didn't love give them a big impact in life? i know that it did to me .. it made me a better person than before ..

if some of you wan to know about my past .. i was someone who does alot of stupid things without thinking (i still do but i think of the outcome) but my stupidity is mostly to fun .. to make people laugh .. even if it makes a fool out of me .. i was a naughty kid when i was young .. i did things to make my mom cry .. but now things have change .. i don't want the person i love to feel the same pain that my mom did .. i'm done with the past of making the people that cared for me the most cry .. feeling sad for something i did .. i'm not going to beat myself up for this .. but i will stand strong .. to make a better life for myself and the person that i love .. i would like to see the people i love happy .. that's all that i ever wanted .. in love and in family ..

Boring day

well .. today was another boring day .. din do much .. was just rotting at home .. basically didn't do anything at all .. wanted to msg her many times .. but just don't know what to say .. and i'm kinda scared to msg her also .. scared that she wont reply me at all .. what can i do?? tell me pls ..

Meaning To Life

Today itself i have loads of things in my mind .. mostly about my future .. not if i will be successful or not .. that is not really important to me right now .. cos i know that no matter what happens .. i will live my life the way that i've always planned it before .. the whole day i've only been thinking of a special person to me .. i've known her for almost 2 months adi .. but i dont seem to get her off my head .. she's very special to me but i just don't know why .. it's like when u meet someone u really care for and love with all ur heart .. everything is unexplainable .. that's how i feel right now ..

what is life without love? love is the power that makes the world turn around .. make things in life perfect .. no matter how fucked up the situation might be .. but love is always there for us ..

I love her .. and i'll wait for her .. cos that's part of what i want to do in my life .. to be with Karen

Goodbye

It's a shame that it had to be this way

It's not enough to say I'm sorry

It's not enough to say I'm sorry

Maybe I'm to blame

Or maybe were the same

But either way I can't breathe

Either way I can't breathe

All I had to say is goodbye

Were better off this way

Were better off this way

I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive

Cause everything were been through

And everything about you

Seemed to be a lie

A guiltless twisted lie

It made me learn to hate you

Or hate myself for letting it pass by

All I had to say is goodbye

Were better off this way

Were better off this way

All I had to say is goodbye

Were better off this way

Were better off this way

And every, everything isn't only

What it seemed so hold these

Words that you never told me

Its time to say goodbye

Its time to say goodbye

Its time to say goodbye

Goodbye

Bye

Take my pain away

tear it out

Tell me I was wrong

Tell me I was wrong

Take my hand away

tear it out

Tell me I was wrong

Tell me I was wrong

take my pain away

tear it out

Tell me I was wrong

Tell me I was wrong

Point of View

she once said to me that i will never understand how she feels when ppl spread fake rumors about her .. well now i can say that i know .. cos there are some bastards out there saying that i have a gf when i was with her .. i've been thinking of it for awhile now and i still don't know who the fuck told this rumors .. "shaun has a gf in perak when he's with u"

i wanna get things clear right now .. that girl in perak is my ex .. we broke up before i could have started work at Sudong .. and that is way way way before i even meet Karen .. i know that even when i already broke up with my ex .. i still help her out in certain things .. like her assignment and stuff .. i'm just doing it cos we're still friends .. but feelings between me and my ex is long gone .. she already has a new bf .. and i have already accepted it .. is it even wrong to help a friend? ok .. maybe i'm wrong to even lend a helping hand to my ex .. but what is done is done .. now i just want Karen back ..

sometimes in life we cant do anything .. like what i've told Karen before this .. ppl spread rumors about her is because they are jealous .. but we cant do anything about it .. we have to stand strong to fight against them .. they are FUCKING BASTARDS to spread rumors that aren't partially true ..

I hope this clears things out ..

Karen .. I'm sorry for even helping her .. i just treat her as a friend .. u ownself should know .. the time i spend with u and all .. i din even had the intention of cheating on u .. pls forgive me for what i've done .. i'm really sorry

Facts Of Life

Have u ever had the feeling that everything in ur life is just about to fall to pieces? sometimes life takes a sick twist .. and we cant do anything about it .. ppl say things about u and u cant do anything about it .. yesterday, she told me that she heard that i had a gf when i was with her .. and she was in Perak .. yes i had a gf in Perak .. but we broke up way before i knew her .. i seriously dont know how that rumors can be around when it's actually in the past .. i tried to tell her that it was my ex .. but she din wan to believe me .. i cant force her .. but it just hurts my heart knowing that she hates me for something i din really do .. i swear to God that i dont have a gf when i was with her ..

she came back from penang a few days ago .. and i din even get the chance to talk to her .. she dont even wan to talk to me either .. i really miss her loads .. i wanna call her up .. but i know that she wont answer my call .. wont even reply my sms .. i feel very hopeless .. i cant even do anything to change what has happen .. and it's FUCKED UP ..

a friend of mine asked me .. "why u love her so much?" and i answer that i dont know .. but after that .. on the way home .. i was thinking of reasons why i love her so much .. but i cant just figure out why i love her so much .. mayb it's just God's doing .. sometimes i feel that God gave me this feeling for a reason .. i dont know if it's to break my heart again .. or to show me happiness .. this is the 6th time that my heart has been broken .. all i've ever done with all my relationship is shower them with love and giving them everything that they want .. but it seems that they all want to break up with me .. and i never know why .. if any of u guys out there knows the answer to this .. pls tell me .. ppl say that i'm desperate .. but let me get this straight .. i'm not desprate .. just deeply in love ..

YahOo~

Today is a wonderful day

Finally got to talk to my girl

We had a very wonderful chat

At least for me 

Don't know about her

But is was one of the best i had in ages

Made me realize something

How much i really want to change for her

How much she really meant to me 

So i will do my best

To change for her

Stranger

Turn around,

Turn around and fix your eye in my direction

So there is a connection.

Now I can't speak,

I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention

I'm staring at perfection.

Take a look at me so you can see

How beautiful you are.

You call me a stranger, you say I'm a danger,

But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight.

I'm broken, abandoned; you are an angel

Making all my dreams come true tonight.

I'm confident,

But I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you.

I knew you could see right through me

I saw my life flash right before my very eyes

And any chance what we turn into

I was hoping that you could see

Take a look at me so you can see...

You call me a stranger, you say I'm a danger,

But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight.

I'm broken, abandoned; you are an angel

Making all my dreams come true tonight.

You are an angel

Making all my dreams come true tonight.

Take a look at me so you can see

How beautiful you are...

Your beauty seems so far away

I'd have to write a thousand songs

To make you comprehend how beautiful you are.

I know that I can't make you stay

But I would give my final breath

To make you understand how beautiful you are.

Understand how beautiful you are.

You call me a stranger, you say I'm a danger

But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight.

I'm broken, abandoned; you are an angel

Making all my dreams come true tonight.

You call me a stranger...

You say I'm a danger...

You call me a stranger...

Damn Myself~

Argh .. how could i overslept .. i missed the chance to talk to her .. argh~!!

Misses

it's been a few days since i last talked to her 

i really miss her load 

sometimes i just wish that things were back as usual 

like last time 

confuSed

recently haven't had any mood to write in my blog .. i mean i feel sad .. and i wanna express my feelings .. but i just dont know how .. i dont really want people to know that i'm heart broken .. then suddenly out of the blue .. i said to myself .. so what if i'm sad .. i'm sad because i'm in love .. why should i be shy to show the world that i'm in love? i have never been shy to show the world that i'm in love .. 

yesterday i had a chat with her .. she did tell me somethings that really hurt my feelings .. she said that we will never be together .. it seriously banged up heart up .. it felt like a freaking train just ramp into my heart .. a knife directly into my heart .. but that's life .. guess what .. i aint giving up .. i mean she told me that she don't wanna couple right now and that we wont be together .. but i'm gonna do whatever it takes to make her fall in love with me .. i dont really know how .. but i'll do my very best .. 

work was ok .. got promoted to Team Leader .. but the work was fucking stressful .. the staffs all dont wanna listen to me .. guess that i dont have that leadership skill .. but will do my best ..

LiL sumtin' sumthin

it's a little something i did for the person i care

it's nothing much but i hope this will do ..

i know it's mostly her pic .. wait .. it's all her pics

that is because we don't have pics together ..

but it's done ..

hope u like it (person i care for)

Here WIthout U

A hundred days have made me older

Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lies have made me colder

And I don't think I can look at this the same

But all the miles that separate

Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight it's only you and me, yeah

The miles just keep rollin'

As the people leave their way to say hello

I've heard this life is overrated

But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh yeah yeah

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl it's only you and me

Everything I know and anywhere I go

It gets hard but it won't take away my love

And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done

It gets hard but it won't take away my love, whoa

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl it's only you and me, yeah oh yeah oh

n0 m00d =.=

haven't been writing in my blog for the pass 2 days .. didn't have the mood .. was feeling sad .. the one person that i love dearly left me .. how suckie is that .. i know i should let things go and all .. but that is not how i am .. i wont give up without a fight .. she said that she doesn't like my attitude .. i know that love is about loving someone for who they are and accepting them for who they are .. but i dunno why .. for the person i love .. i would do anything .. trust me .. i will change for her .. mayb some of u guys out there might think this is all BULLSHIT .. well FUCK U if u think that i'm stupid or what .. although i've only been with her for 1 month plus .. i dunno how i can fall in so deep .. i've told myself to control my feelings .. take things slowly .. but i just cant .. i don't know how to do that .. Karen .. i wont give up on u .. never will .. trust me ..

well today was my first day at my new working place .. kinda fucked up cos i was bored and all .. keep on thinking of her .. can't fucking get my head to think straight .. although i assigned to be the team leader for the company .. i didn't feel happy or what .. i mean i should be .. but i'm just not .. i will feel much more happy if she's with me .. 

i can't wait for her to come back from penang so i can meet up with her and try to win her heart back .. currently i feel that it's hard cos i can't see her .. can try to change back her feelings for me .. sometimes i think to myself .. does she really love me? is she serious about me or is she just playing me out .. well .. i don't really care .. cos as i know .. love is all about taking risks .. and this is the risk that i'm willing to take .. i know that if i fight for her love and find out that she doesn't want to me with me .. i will hurt even more .. but getting hurt from her is a risk i'm willing to take .. my heart's already broken .. but i'm still willing to take the risk with her .. i wanna be there for her .. i wanna be the type of man that she wants in a relationship ..  i wan her back in my arms .. 

Karen, 

although i haven't been treating u the way that u want me to .. but take this as a promise that i'm giving to u .. i will change all those things that u don't like about me .. i will do anything and everything for u .. my life revolves around u .. not my friends .. u are the one single thing that i want in my life right now .. i know what my heart desires .. and it's U .. 

P.S                         i <3>