anger

sometimes in life .. we just have to break the rules .. even if it's something bad .. as people said before .. life is unfair .. yes i totally agree with that .. sometimes it's just not fair .. we do good things .. but life just fucks us up .. i found out something that really breaks my heart ..

i dont wanna talk much about this ..

kill me .. someone just kill me pls

truE loVe

recently i've been listening to many meaningful songs .. it gave me a clear view of the meaning of true love .. sometimes i wonder .. how all this singers can express themself so easily with words .. and make words into a beautiful song .. it amaze me to the max .. lyrics to songs sometimes can touch a person's soul so deep that makes them change they way the look at life .. it's not easy to find a nice song that touches ur heart like no other song can do ..

i've been listening to James Morrison feat Nelly Furtado - Broken Strings .. and it gave me a deeper meaning to love .. how people struggle in life .. love isn't something easy to take care of .. it requires deep attention and caringness .. some people that i know .. take love for granted .. i feel that they damn stupid .. fucked up how people can just let go so easily .. didn't love give them a big impact in life? i know that it did to me .. it made me a better person than before ..

if some of you wan to know about my past .. i was someone who does alot of stupid things without thinking (i still do but i think of the outcome) but my stupidity is mostly to fun .. to make people laugh .. even if it makes a fool out of me .. i was a naughty kid when i was young .. i did things to make my mom cry .. but now things have change .. i don't want the person i love to feel the same pain that my mom did .. i'm done with the past of making the people that cared for me the most cry .. feeling sad for something i did .. i'm not going to beat myself up for this .. but i will stand strong .. to make a better life for myself and the person that i love .. i would like to see the people i love happy .. that's all that i ever wanted .. in love and in family ..

Boring day

well .. today was another boring day .. din do much .. was just rotting at home .. basically didn't do anything at all .. wanted to msg her many times .. but just don't know what to say .. and i'm kinda scared to msg her also .. scared that she wont reply me at all .. what can i do?? tell me pls ..

Meaning To Life

Today itself i have loads of things in my mind .. mostly about my future .. not if i will be successful or not .. that is not really important to me right now .. cos i know that no matter what happens .. i will live my life the way that i've always planned it before .. the whole day i've only been thinking of a special person to me .. i've known her for almost 2 months adi .. but i dont seem to get her off my head .. she's very special to me but i just don't know why .. it's like when u meet someone u really care for and love with all ur heart .. everything is unexplainable .. that's how i feel right now ..

what is life without love? love is the power that makes the world turn around .. make things in life perfect .. no matter how fucked up the situation might be .. but love is always there for us ..

I love her .. and i'll wait for her .. cos that's part of what i want to do in my life .. to be with Karen

Goodbye

It's a shame that it had to be this way

It's not enough to say I'm sorry

It's not enough to say I'm sorry

Maybe I'm to blame

Or maybe were the same

But either way I can't breathe

Either way I can't breathe

All I had to say is goodbye

Were better off this way

Were better off this way

I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive

Cause everything were been through

And everything about you

Seemed to be a lie

A guiltless twisted lie

It made me learn to hate you

Or hate myself for letting it pass by

All I had to say is goodbye

Were better off this way

Were better off this way

All I had to say is goodbye

Were better off this way

Were better off this way

And every, everything isn't only

What it seemed so hold these

Words that you never told me

Its time to say goodbye

Its time to say goodbye

Its time to say goodbye

Goodbye

Bye

Take my pain away

tear it out

Tell me I was wrong

Tell me I was wrong

Take my hand away

tear it out

Tell me I was wrong

Tell me I was wrong

take my pain away

tear it out

Tell me I was wrong

Tell me I was wrong

Point of View

she once said to me that i will never understand how she feels when ppl spread fake rumors about her .. well now i can say that i know .. cos there are some bastards out there saying that i have a gf when i was with her .. i've been thinking of it for awhile now and i still don't know who the fuck told this rumors .. "shaun has a gf in perak when he's with u"

i wanna get things clear right now .. that girl in perak is my ex .. we broke up before i could have started work at Sudong .. and that is way way way before i even meet Karen .. i know that even when i already broke up with my ex .. i still help her out in certain things .. like her assignment and stuff .. i'm just doing it cos we're still friends .. but feelings between me and my ex is long gone .. she already has a new bf .. and i have already accepted it .. is it even wrong to help a friend? ok .. maybe i'm wrong to even lend a helping hand to my ex .. but what is done is done .. now i just want Karen back ..

sometimes in life we cant do anything .. like what i've told Karen before this .. ppl spread rumors about her is because they are jealous .. but we cant do anything about it .. we have to stand strong to fight against them .. they are FUCKING BASTARDS to spread rumors that aren't partially true ..

I hope this clears things out ..

Karen .. I'm sorry for even helping her .. i just treat her as a friend .. u ownself should know .. the time i spend with u and all .. i din even had the intention of cheating on u .. pls forgive me for what i've done .. i'm really sorry

Facts Of Life

Have u ever had the feeling that everything in ur life is just about to fall to pieces? sometimes life takes a sick twist .. and we cant do anything about it .. ppl say things about u and u cant do anything about it .. yesterday, she told me that she heard that i had a gf when i was with her .. and she was in Perak .. yes i had a gf in Perak .. but we broke up way before i knew her .. i seriously dont know how that rumors can be around when it's actually in the past .. i tried to tell her that it was my ex .. but she din wan to believe me .. i cant force her .. but it just hurts my heart knowing that she hates me for something i din really do .. i swear to God that i dont have a gf when i was with her ..

she came back from penang a few days ago .. and i din even get the chance to talk to her .. she dont even wan to talk to me either .. i really miss her loads .. i wanna call her up .. but i know that she wont answer my call .. wont even reply my sms .. i feel very hopeless .. i cant even do anything to change what has happen .. and it's FUCKED UP ..

a friend of mine asked me .. "why u love her so much?" and i answer that i dont know .. but after that .. on the way home .. i was thinking of reasons why i love her so much .. but i cant just figure out why i love her so much .. mayb it's just God's doing .. sometimes i feel that God gave me this feeling for a reason .. i dont know if it's to break my heart again .. or to show me happiness .. this is the 6th time that my heart has been broken .. all i've ever done with all my relationship is shower them with love and giving them everything that they want .. but it seems that they all want to break up with me .. and i never know why .. if any of u guys out there knows the answer to this .. pls tell me .. ppl say that i'm desperate .. but let me get this straight .. i'm not desprate .. just deeply in love ..