krazy~!!

today i felt like i was gonna go crazy .. the tot of her with another guy is just killing me .. i skipped work today cos i din have the mood to go work .. my friends told me "dont mad la .. work is work" .. but for me .. i dont give a fuck about anything else .. all i ever wanted is to be with her .. or at least for her to give me a chance .. it seems impossible .. was out almost the whole night .. thinking about things .. nearly died in front of her house .. cos i was reading her sms that she sent to me since last time .. i intend to read all the past when i'm sad .. i was driving back while reading her sms .. then i didn't notice the car in front of me .. and nearly banged it .. damn i was scared .. but she doesn't even care about me .. even if i were to die in front of her house .. i did sms her about that near death accident .. but she didn't even reply .. it either she's sleeping or she's just ignoring me ..

it seriously hurts my heart .. today itself i did a few things that i wont normally do .. she means the world to me .. even if it hurts me damn badly .. i still want her back .. wanting her to give me another chance .. i'm seriously willing to do anything for her .. but she wont even give me a chance .. i seriously dunno what else i can do .. i gave her my heart .. i din even care if she were to throw it away or what .. but i still gave her myh heart .. that is h0w much i love her .. but she cant see it ..

what can i do to get her to notice me? i feel like i'm back at square one .. when we first meet .. i didn't have the balls to talk to her .. i didnt have the guts to do anything .. seriously .. i'm damn scared of one thing .. is really losing her as a friend .. what else as a lover .. i dont think that i can give up on her that easy .. it might take me years .. but my heart has really learned to love her deeply .. i know that it's only 1 month of being together .. but that 1 month .. has really showed me the true meaning of love .. i just cant get my head to think straight ..

karen .. if ur reading this .. i'm begging u to give me a chance .. let me show u the love that i've given u last time .. i know that u're angry at me for lying to u about my financial problems .. but i did that cos i was seriously affraid that u might dislike me for having those kinda problems .. i know that i'm not the best in anything .. but i seriously want to be .. even if it takes me years to change .. i'm seriously willing to change .. just for u .. cant u see how much i love u? my life's a mess without you .. i serious think that i might die if i dont have u .. pls give me another chance .. i promise to be better .. to treat u better than last time .. be a better man for u .. and for ur future .. i swear on my dad's soul .. pls give me another chance.. i love u karen low ka ling